Dear Stackologist: Life is Full of Tough Choices

Dear Stackologist,

I am married. I thought I would be happy to be married to my husband.  He is exactly the type of man I should be married to as we come from the same background and status but he isn’t my true love.  That belongs to my father’s ward.  He would be unsuitable to marry, I know but we are kindred spirits.  We used to run all over the moors together.  I think what makes me the most unhappy is that my love has ran off with my husband’s sister and married her.  I think I was much happier when he was mine and mine alone.  Am I wrong to be so down?  I just might die if I can’t have him.

Lonely on the Moors.

Dear Moors,

First of all, I feel like you got married for the wrong reasons.  While it might be important to please your family, this is your life and not theirs so if you are not happy with your husband then maybe it’s time for a divorce.  Chances are, if you are not happy neither is he.  As for your other issue, I’m not sure you really love him but want to possess him.  That’s not exactly healthy.  If he has gotten married, you should respect his decision but again I do worry about his reasons for marriage too but that’s for another letter.  Also I’m a little worried about you saying you will die without him.  No man is worth dying for.  Life is full disappointments and you must learn to live with them.  Nor can you expect someone to stay single just because you want them too.  You moved on, you have to allow that they will move on, too.

Sincerely,

Stackologist

Dear Stackologist,

I really like this guy but we sort of met under unusual situation.  He’s funny, and charming and also an addict.  He traded in doing drugs and alcohol for another vice, so to speak, but he still partakes in self destructive behavior.  I couldn’t take it. I could not stay and watch him destroy himself. So, I left. I moved to California with my Mom.  I have my own problems to deal with like my brother’s death and my parent marital problems (they’re divorcing).  I don’t need to his on top of that.  I thought I was getting over him when one day he showed up at my job.  Now all the feelings I had for him are back but I’m not sure I can trust him. He says he is no longer doing what he was doing but I just don’t know.  I’m not sure I can let him back into my life.

Ugh. I can’t believe I’m one of those letter-writing girls

Dear Letter-Writer,

I think it’s brave that you saw that you were in a bad situation and you took yourself out of it.  It’s not easy, especially when it involves someone that you care about. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time right now and by taking him out of the equation you are on the right path.  I think this is one of those cases where the only person that can truly help them is them.  It’s obviously difficult now that he is back in your life.  You want to believe he is better and maybe he is but more importantly, how are you?  Who is supporting you? Who is helping you cope with your brother’s death and your parents’ separation?  I think you need to deal with you first before him.  If he cares for you, then he will wait for to get yourself back together.

-Stackologist

Tennis, Anyone? The Academy Series by Monica Seles

For those who know me, I love the sport of tennis.  I actually love sports.  I think they are one of the real dramas in life. They are unpredictable and entertaining.  They happen live so no edits or rewrites. Almost nothing can unite a group of people, city, state or country the way sports can.  So yeah, I love sports but I really love tennis. So two years ago, when tennis legend Monica Seles decided to write a teen novel, I was so on it. So in honor of the Australian Open currently being played, here’s the skinny on The Academy Series.

Featured imageI once described the first book in the The Academy Series, Game On, to friends as Gossip Girl meets Bollettieri’s.  For those not in the know, Bollettieri’s is a tennis academy in Florida that has produced such great champions as Andre Agassi, Jim Courier, Maria Sharapova and Seles herself. In Game On we are introduced to Maya, a tennis player who dreams of playing professionally.  She has earned an scholarship into the prestigious Academy that will hopefully set her on her way to tennis glory.  There are two ways into the Academy, scholarships or just being filthy rich and buying your way in.  At the Academy Maya meets many different people.  There’s Cleo, her roommate, who hopes to make it in Golf to support her family in China.  Nicole, already a tennis star, who is threatened by Maya.  Renee, a swimmer, who’s rich family has sort of dumped her there even though she doesn’t really have much athletic ability and Travis and Jake, sons the of Academy owner.  Travis, the golden son being groomed for Football glory and Jake, the bad boy living in his brother’s shadow.  I think you get the picture.

Featured imageNow, these are not the greatest books but I don’t think anyone who picked them up were looking for them to be.  They are fun beach reads with not a lot of substance but a whole lot of drama. It turns out that Maya has more to worry about than just her tennis. She also has to contend with possible endorsement deals, internet gossip, jealous rivals and boys’ fickle affection. Life at the Academy is a lot harder than Maya thought it would be.  The best thing about Game on and it’s sequel, Love Match is the friendship between Maya, Cleo and Renee.  Renee is clearly in the Haves and Maya and Cleo, the Haves-not but they make it work.  You don’t always get books with good female friendships. (You don’t really get it in movies or TV for that matter either.)  Girls are often rivals for grades, boys, beauty, etc. I really dug the friendship of these girls.  They are vastly different.  Cleo is a free spirit and a lesbian.  Renee is super rich and beautiful and Maya is your average American girl from Buffalo.  They are constantly supporting each other and pushing each other forward.  They sometimes get jealous of each other but they do always find ways back to each other.  Oh and they talk to each other.  What a concept!  What I don’t really like about the series is the lack of tennis. Maya is determined to make it as a player.  It’s her dream but tennis often falls to the back burner as soon as she has an opportunity to pose for an ad campaign or audition for a movie or Travis or Jake start to show interest in her.  It’s not until one of those things falls apart that she recommits herself to tennis.  Promising to focus on tennis from then on or until, you know, the next thing pops up.  Not exactly the best message for young girls.

So basically, if you are looking for a book about girls and sports, this really isn’t it.  It definitely has it’s problems but I do think fans of Gossip Girl and the like will like it.  At the moment, it’s only the two books.  Seles definitely left things open for a third book but I haven’t been able to find any news of a third book coming out.  I have to admit that does disappoint me because there are some story lines that would like to see how they unfold but those are the breaks.

Bonus: For more on The Academy, here’s Brian Phillips of Grantland.com’s hilarious review of the series.