This Month in Reality: It’s Just a F*cking Date

I picked this up in a bogo audible sale. It’s not my usual fare but Greg and Amiira seem to be doing well together and other people seem to enjoy their books so I figured, why not?

My feelings about this book are ambivalent but not because I didn’t enjoy it. Greg and Amiira are funny, smart and endearing. I think they gave me some great advice. But, some of their advice was off-putting because it meant accepting things about the world that I think need to be changed. So, my ambivalence is less about my feelings toward the book and more about my feelings towards society as a whole.

But, let’s talk about what I liked first. One of the premises of this book was that you set the bar for how people treat you. So, you have to be conscious of what you put out into the world. Potential partners not giving you a second look? Then you need to think about what you’re giving them to look at. They really hit the whole “get a life to have a life” idea hard. And, I really like that (and do that anyway). It makes sense to me to have a life I love and to invest time in making a life a love. And, if it means that I seem cool and mysterious because I’m a complete person who is not willing to drop everything to be with someone then, great. Total win. I liked the advice sections that focused on building you up. And, I liked the advice sections about how to date multiple people and to be explicit about your commitments when you are wanting to make them (and not expecting them in return).

But, all of the advice about deferring to men and letting them chase you and letting them take the lead in a conversation, blech. It’s probably something I need to hear and I probably should listen to it. (Although, that being said, ladles and jelly spoons, “So, that thing you do seems cool, tell me about it” is an imperative, not a interrogative. It’s easier to answer a question than give a speech about cool shit I do. So maybe instead of saying, “tell me about it” or “what’s that about?” say, “How did you get into that?” Just a suggestion.) I’m fine with waiting after a first date and letting the dude take the next move. (I mean, I do have a life and I expect you to have one, too. So, if you text me immediately or call the next day I might wonder about you.) I didn’t take good notes on this one so I feel like I should have better examples but suffice to say that most of my problems weren’t with the book but are with society.

So, that’s it for this one. It was pretty cool, even if society still has weird gender relations.